How I Stopped Comparing Myself to Other Women
Comparison is the thief of joy. - Theodore Roosevelt
You’ve probably heard that before, and yet, why can’t we stop comparing ourselves to each other?
Maybe there’s a deeper purpose in comparison. What if we can use this natural human tendency and transform it into something much more useful- like information about our desires? What if we can transform comparison into inspiration, clarity, and even connection?
Envy is actually information. When I’m envious of another woman, comparing myself to the way I perceive her life to be, I’m believing my life to be less than hers. I’m giving my power away. But there is a way to take my power back and celebrate her at the same time- and that’s through curiosity. When I get curious about why I’m envious of her, I grow. What about her life am I wanting to feel? What about her do I admire?
A couple of things happen when we do this. First, we get out of our heads and into our hearts. We create connection when we’re looking for ways we are alike (your desires are part of who you are). You spot it, you got it, is a saying that coach and author Christine Hassler uses often and I love it.
What we see in others is often a reflection of something in ourselves that we have yet to integrate or claim. This applies to both desirable and undesirable qualities by the way.
When we get curious about comparison, we also deepen our understanding of ourselves. So many of us were raised as people pleasers. I don’t blame our mothers- they were raised the same way. But the trouble is we end up disconnected from what really brings us joy, and what really matters to us. We never really feel like we belong to ourselves.
So, in truth, I don’t know if I’ve fully stopped comparing myself to other women. That tendency is still there. But I have transformed that tendency into a more useful and life-giving practice of self-discovery.
There’s peace and freedom there.
With love,
Brandie
P.S. This is one of the many sacred self-care practices you can cultivate in our next 8-week group coaching program beginning next week. Learn more and enroll here.
PHOTO: BRI COSTELLO PHOTOGRAPHY
Brandie Mitchell, RN, NC-BC
Real mom, wife, friend, nurse, and coach doing the beautiful work of being human.