Yes. You. Keep going.

When we have the courage to walk into our story and own it, we get to write the ending. And when we don’t own our stories of failure, setbacks, and hurt- they own us.” -Brene Brown

When my life was falling into alignment, as I choose to say, through tragedy and loss, I made the choice that I would use this for good in partnership with the Divine.

I had already re-defined myself as a Women’s Health Nurse Coach. I had begun writing my daily affirmations for the life and practice I wanted to create many months before the unraveling. 

I had stepped into more leadership in my nurse coach community, my life and my health, begun unleashing my voice, and created bold, beautiful, safe spaces for women to heal together. 

So when the darkest thing beyond my deepest fears was revealed in my family, my home, my most sacred place, of course I questioned myself. 

Who am I to be doing this work? To be a leader and a coach? Especially under the business name “Well Family” - when my own family is falling apart?

Who am I? 

The voice of shame said I was a fraud. A fake. A joke. 

But the voice of Love said, 

Yes. You. Keep going. 

But I had failed - utterly. I had been trying so hard to save my marriage and stick to my narrative about what a healthy family should be, but I couldn’t keep it together.

Our ship was sinking and the captains were fools wearing masks.

I had been deceived and betrayed so deeply. For years. I had chosen denial, silence and blindness to keep my family intact. The house that was built on lies, crumbled. 

It felt like I was thrown overboard into shark infested waters. 

I sunk deep to the bottom of the sea. 

In that darkness I found other stories- ancient stories and myths that showed me the way. I listened to Clarissa Pinkola Estes’ book, Mother Night: Learning to See in the Dark and Richard Rohr’s beautiful book, Breathing Underwater because that’s exactly what I had to do. 

See. Breathe. In the dark. Underwater. 

I slowly made my way up to the surface. 

The hands of my loved ones on my back, lifting me up.

And God started building me a boat.

The people showed up. The path was illuminated.

The pain of this experience has been indescribable. The grief, complex. 

But now I’m on a path of freedom and honesty. 

I’m free of the sin of betrayal and deception. 

I’m free to think and feel for myself. 

To see beyond illusion. 👁️

I’m free to love all parts of myself. 

I’m free to love the Divine fully and completely without any fear or hesitation.

I’m free to create and offer and serve in ALL of the ways my heart desires. 

I’m free from pleasing others to try to gain value and belonging, and free to join in an ongoing Grace-filled dance of co-creation with Our Loving Creator. 

And so are you.

Yes. You. Keep going. ✨