Choose Kindness
Today is World Kindness Day, and what a timely thing as I just spoke last Friday at a Child Advocates of Fort Bend training on the topic of kindness and its relationship to our wellbeing.
And while we could talk all day about the importance of being kind to others (and holy wow, don't we need this now), I'd like to say that an even more essential practice is self-kindness, or self-compassion.
Self-compassion is the foundation of self-care.
Without self-compassion, our efforts at self-care are limited. But with self-compassion on board, we can deepen our ability to be with ourselves in all of our brutiful experiences (thanks Glennon Doyle for this nod to the often inseparable brutal and beautiful aspects of life).
Dr. Kristin Neff, a renowned researcher on the topic, identifies three elements of self-compassion:
Self-kindness vs. self-judgment - being warm and understanding towards ourselves vs. neglecting and criticizing ourselves.
Common humanity vs. isolation - to be human is to be mortal, vulnerable and imperfect. This is a shared experience amongst us and when we remember that, we can access more compassion towards ourselves and others.
Mindfulness vs. Over-identification - mindfulness involves accessing a non-judgmental receptive state of mind vs. getting so attached to specific emotions and circumstances that we limit ourselves and feel stuck.
I love her Self-Compassion Break and use it almost daily as I navigate my healing journey from psychological abuse, betrayal trauma and figuring out how to be a single parent amidst it all.
I'm also being kind to myself by taking a break from social media for at least a week. (Confession: I've never intentionally taken a break from social media. Eeeeeeek.)
So as fun as it can be to engage in acts of kindness towards others, please include yourself today and every day.
What's one way you can be kind and compassionate towards yourself today?